5 Ways to Hopelessly Mortify Your School-Age Child

  1. Back up into the principal’s car in the school parking lot.
  2. Sample the grapes before you put them into your grocery cart.
  3. Drive for 35 miles with the fuel gauge on E.
  4. Force your 10-year-old to hug the enormously-headed Clifford, the Big Red Dog costumed-character at the local Book Festival.
  5. Take your kid shopping for underpants. Even better, when you get to the store, double-check the size of his underpants…while he’s still got them on.

Other suggestions? Send me a comment!



  1. Sandra said,

    February 22, 2009 at 9:37 am

    LOL! Well, you didn’t specify how old the child is – so it’s even easier with a teenager. Drop him off at school and kiss/hug him in front of the building… start singing a duet with daddy when he brings a friend home… have a childhood (re: embarrassing) picture of him on the kitchen table when he brings a girl home… ahhhh, the list is endless of the torture that can be shoveled upon a teen. And, I might add, it’s well deserved sometimes! LOLOLOL!

  2. zoemarsh said,

    February 22, 2009 at 12:56 pm

    Any kind of dancing will mortify your children no matter what age they are!


  3. Sybil said,

    February 22, 2009 at 1:54 pm

    It’s crystal clear that you’re on the edge, Missy. Quite obviously, you’ve done all 5 things on your list in the recent past. The question on everyone’s mind must be whether or not the principal was still in the car when you backed into it. If not, did you leave a note?

  4. scheirmad said,

    February 22, 2009 at 2:15 pm

    Right on, ladies. No comment on the school parking lot incident, whatever it may have been. I leave you to wonder…

    One more mortifying thought for your marriage-age child: have the Ace of Cakes crack cake-decorating staff transfer your son’s childhood art onto his groom’s cake. Paging Dr. Freud…

    -Scheir M.

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