5 Ways to Score Big With Your School-Age Child

Following up on yesterday’s “5 Ways to Mortify Your School-Age Child,” I give you these 5 ways to score big…

  1. Back into the lunch lady’s car in the school parking lot.
  2. Sample the jelly beans before you put them into your grocery cart.
  3. Drive for 35 miles with the B-52’s Rock Lobster on endless repeat (my kids tell me that some youtube thing called The Hamster Dance is another new favorite—check it out…if you dare.)
  4. Hire a costumed Link (the digital hero from the video game Zelda), to spend the afternoon with your child, with the understanding that battle-ax construction, insider gaming tips, and bottomless salty snack foods are part of the package.
  5. Frequently pepper the word ‘underpants’ into casual conversation, as in “Do you know what Daddy found in the attic? Albert Einstein‘s underpants!!!”

Again, your suggestions are welcome—send me your comments, and I’ll post ’em!! Imagine how big we’ll score with our kids if we just put our heads together!



  1. Sybil said,

    February 23, 2009 at 2:35 pm

    You backed into the lunch lady’s car too?!?!
    You must be insured with AIG and have contributed to their problems.

  2. scheirmad said,

    February 24, 2009 at 9:24 am

    Yeah, leave it to me to be patient zero in the economic meltdown…

    -Scheir M.

  3. GIARC said,

    February 25, 2009 at 2:09 pm

    How about taking them to Subway 5 weekends in a row!! They know me there now.

  4. scheirmad said,

    February 25, 2009 at 2:57 pm

    Rock on, Subway guy!

    -Scheir M.

  5. GIARC said,

    February 25, 2009 at 4:41 pm

    It wasn’t a rock. It’s a Rock Lobster!

  6. Andie said,

    March 2, 2009 at 2:37 pm

    Semi-related: 1st day of a new job I backed into the car of the president’s sister. I’m surprised there was a second day!

    But it was my last “real job…”

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