Possible Jack Bauer Replacements


If Jack Bauer should die (say it isn’t so!!!!!) as a result of his exposure to this season’s deadly biological agent, then who could possibly fill his terror-busting shoes and men’s medium flak jacket?

If I were President Allison Taylor, I’d be drawing up a short list of replacements…and it would look something like this:

  1. Former CTU top dog Bill Buchanan (oops…dead)
  2. Former President David Palmer (oops…dead too)
  3. Former President Wayne Palmer (oops…same…or maybe just in a years’ long coma; either way, he’s pretty much “off the grid,” so perfect for the job!)
  4. Former CTU chief Tony Almeida (nope…back from the dead, but now working for the dark side)
  5. Retired Secret Service agent—and kooky First Lady crush object—Aaron Pierce (sure, he took a bullet to the arm in the latest White House siege, but it’s only a flesh wound, right?)
  6. FBI Agent Renee Walker (she’s turning into Jack Bauer anyway, but oy, the overacting!)
  7. Whiny tech support goddess Chloe O’Brian (I mean, if looks could kill, she’d already have a body count like Jack’s)
  8. The ghost of Jack Bauer (dangerous, already dead, and able to walk through walls!)
  9. Harry Potter (what’s an international terrorist, when you’ve managed to dispatch “you know who”?)
  10. Wolverine (the hair, the retractable, implanted knife blades, the super-healing power—throw a messenger bag over that guy’s shoulder and Jack Bauer can go die, knowing that the world is safe—at least from evil mutants who control metal with the power of their minds…)


  1. Andie said,

    April 22, 2009 at 10:33 pm

    I vote Harry..and you can see if putting Harry in a blog post title beats Jack Bauer!

    • scheirmad said,

      April 23, 2009 at 8:42 am

      There’s a thought–I’d better get reading!

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