Fortunately…Unfortunately

Love this cover, from a customized book all about me, that my mother had made when I was a child

Love this cover, from a customized book all about me, that my mother had made when I was a child


Fortunately, I had the opportunity to do some gardening yesterday.

Unfortunately, I was gardening barefoot and dropped the garden shears, point down, sending them slicing directly into my toe.

Fortunately, I didn’t need stitches.

Unfortunately, I was bleeding badly enough that even a novice CSI team could have tracked my movements from the garden, up the driveway, across the porch, and up to the front door.

Fortunately, 9-year-old daughter Hayley doesn’t mind the sight of blood and was very willing to get me a paper towel, splash a pitcher of water onto the bright red puddle pooling next to the doormat, and ignore my gasping and rocking as she swept my bodily fluids into the ground cover.

Unfortunately, the first thing my husband Craig saw when he came home was me limping out to greet him.

Fortunately, he sent me into the den to watch the US Open Women’s Doubles Finals on TiVo while he made dinner.

Unfortunately, we’d planned to paint our bathroom that night, and I was still having trouble stopping the bleeding.

Fortunately, I had it in me to tape off and paint the trim.

Unfortunately, the color that we had deliberated about, voted on, and eventually purchased turned out in real life to be a ridiculous shade of poolside blue.

Fortunately, it takes less than $50 to change a paint color.

Unfortunately, I am completely preoccupied with the wrongness of the color, the potential for scathing judgments from other people, and the sucking sound of more money (albeit not much money) leaving my wallet.

Fortunately, I was watching the US Open on Saturday night and witnessed Serena Williams vs. the meek little line judge lady, live and in off-color. With that in mind I have realized that I have this to be thankful for:

I may have chosen the wrong color for my bathroom, but at least I didn’t break my tennis racket (a cost that for Serena is surely upwards of $500, conservatively), receive a USTA fine ($10,000…for now), or royally double fault on my reputation in front of millions of tennis viewers around the world.

Yup, I’m OK…unless the world’s tennis fandom starts stopping by to use my bathroom.

Now that would be truly unfortunate.

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8 Comments

  1. Monica said,

    September 17, 2009 at 3:27 pm

    Nice blog even though you had such a series of unfortunate events…ugh, I know bad book title pun. 🙂

    • scheirmad said,

      September 17, 2009 at 8:20 pm

      No…I like it!

      Thanks for hanging out at DD tonight!! It was fun!

  2. Monica said,

    September 18, 2009 at 9:13 am

    I just noticed the caption on the picture….so cool that your mom had that book made about you! 🙂 Glad you didn’t groan about the pun (if that is even the correct word to describe it). I enjoyed our chat as well. Hope you have a great weekend!

    • scheirmad said,

      September 18, 2009 at 1:59 pm

      I still have the book too. I like the part where (unfortunately) Cheryl has to jump from an airplane without a parachute, but (fortunately) she’ll land on a haystack; (unfortunately) there’s a pitchfork sticking up out of the haystack…

      You get the idea!

  3. Andie said,

    September 18, 2009 at 11:45 am

    Yeowch! On so many levels. Hope your toe feels better!

    • scheirmad said,

      September 18, 2009 at 2:00 pm

      Thanks for the sympathy. I played tennis today and rocked my shots, so I’d say my toe is doing fine!

  4. Mary Nadler said,

    September 18, 2009 at 1:42 pm

    Cheryl, you are priceless.

    • scheirmad said,

      September 18, 2009 at 2:00 pm

      Hey there, Mary! I didn’t know you were a blog follower! Thanks for chiming in (and for thinking I’m priceless. Yay!!).


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